I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
