We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
