he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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