'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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