so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
