don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
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He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
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Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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