I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
