You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
