Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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