Where is the hickey?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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