thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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