After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
