Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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