My hand turned me down
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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