Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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