you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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