i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
