I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
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That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
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He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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