Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize