How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
