You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
