She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
