remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
