So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
