he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
