This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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