it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
