i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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