Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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