We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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