I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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