i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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