do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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