tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
