Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
