Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize