We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
