you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
