Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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