did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
