i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize