At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
