i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
