we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize