If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
