I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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