So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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