I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
