The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize