I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
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Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
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I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize