I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
