What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
