that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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