your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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