The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
