giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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