Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
