dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
