she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
