...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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