i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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