Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
