Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She's the barista slut.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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