My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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