Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
